“We often cannot control the challenges that rock our world or even the people around us. But we can choose our own reaction to our circumstances and use our pain and unplanned medical challenges for a greater purpose.”

Every Challenge Can Be an Opportunity

By Lori Vober, Guest Blogger

We all start out with hopes, dreams, goals, and expectations. Life rarely turns out exactly like we pictured it would though and unplanned medical challenges can quickly change the picture completely.

I woke up terrified, confused, and disillusioned. It had been seventeen days since the lights went out.  A medically induced coma kept my brain pressure down. My last memory was lying on the floor with a horrible headache, upset stomach, heavy left arm, with paramedics towering over me. At age twenty-nine, just shy of our fifth wedding anniversary, I had no idea I was having a massive hemorrhagic stroke. This was not part of my plan.

I had just started a new position as the Office Manager at our church to slow life down to start our family. I desperately wanted to be a mom, but those were my plans. I have a strong faith and quickly learned that God’s plan was to first save my life.

My stroke was caused by an undetected malformation of blood vessels on the right side of my brain called an Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM). I had suffered from migraines most of my life but never received a definite diagnosis. I was not as aware of the signs of stroke as I should have been and almost waited too late to call for help that day. I was unconscious within an hour of calling the paramedics and was rushed to a nearby trauma center. I underwent emergency brain surgery the night of my stroke to stop the massive bleed.

When I was brought out of the coma, I had no movement on my left side, and it was a process to learn to sit up balanced again. To me, my center was now all on my right side, so I just fell over in those beginning days, like a rag doll. Thankfully, my bleed was located on the right side of my brain, so my memory and speech were still intact.

Soon after my stroke, I began inpatient therapy. My days at the hospital consisted of occupational, physical, and pool therapy to regain as much balance and mobility as possible. I had a second brain surgery to remove the malformation and ensure another bleed would not occur. I didn’t recognize at the time how hard and almost unbearable the situation was. Often when we are thrown in a traumatic journey, we don’t completely recognize all the elements until years later. I remember I was not able to move on my own or roll over at this point in the journey. At night, in the rehab center, I was all alone. So, if I wanted to roll over, my only choice was to call a nurse for help. To go from an independent young adult to a patient that must ask for help to roll over and sit in a shower chair and be bathed, those days were plain tough. After two months in the hospital, I left in a wheelchair and a cane for walking with assistance. We went to live with my parents so they could assist with my care while my husband concentrated on his work.

My husband, Dainis, worked in the aviation industry, and this was soon after the terrorist attacks of September 11th. Unfortunately, two months after my hospital discharge, he was laid off. He found a new aviation position in Arizona, so we sold our first house, our first dog, said goodbye to friends and family, and moved from Minnesota to Arizona with me in a wheelchair and cane, six months post-stroke. We were hopeful for our new life and the possibilities ahead until I started having seizures right after our move. When we left Minnesota, I was showing no signs of seizures, so my neurosurgeon took me of my seizure medication. My first day off the medication, my brain started interacting with the blood deposits and scar tissue. It took years of trial and error to find a medication and dosage that kept the seizures under control. I found an amazing new neuro therapy clinic, and life was all about therapy, recovery, and seizure management for many long years.

I had no idea the day I had my stroke that I was in for a lifetime journey of stroke recovery and learning to thrive in my new normal. Over twenty years later, I am still in therapy today and working hard to regain as much mobility and independence as possible. Thankfully, the seizures are under control with daily medication. Some days are still very challenging and frustrating, but many are filled with buckets of gratitude. Life certainly did not turn out like I anticipated when I took the job at our church to slow life down to try and start our family.  Through adoption, my husband and I adopted a sibling group of three from Colombia, South America, so I still had the opportunity to became a mom. I share my journey today and what I have learned with others as a published author and motivational speaker.

The challenges we have persevered through, although difficult at times, can serve as amazing opportunities. When we have that perspective, I believe it gives meaning to the trials we go through. We don’t choose to go through these tough trials in life but for me, I am the person I am today because of this journey of stroke recovery and adoption parenting. Our perspective and emotional health may not change our physical challenges but looking at things with a lens of gratitude does truly change the whole picture. We all have our own individual challenges and stories. The choices you make to persevere and move forward, as well as your attitude, can affect your whole outcome and those around you. You never know who is watching your reaction to your struggles and who you may be influencing. Can you look at your brain injury as an unexplainable gift on a new journey or is it a burden that you are still healing from? We often cannot control the challenges that rock our world or even the people around us. But we can choose our own reaction to our circumstances and use our pain and unplanned medical challenges for a greater purpose.

ABOUT BRAIN INJURY ASSOCIATION OF ARIZONA

The Brain Injury Association of Arizona (BIAAZ) is the only statewide nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of adults and children with all types of brain injuries through prevention, advocacy, awareness and education. BIAAZ also houses the Arizona Brain Health Resource Center, a collection of educational information and neuro-specific resources for brain injury survivors, caregivers, family members and professionals.

What began in 1983 as a grassroots effort has grown into a strong statewide presence, providing valuable life-long resources and community support for individuals with all types of brain trauma at no charge.