b'OliverAs is so common in todays age, connecting andOliverAs previously shared with regards to my chal-meeting people via social media and online dating plat- lenges/deficits caused by my TBI, in the beginning, it was forms, we met through Coffee Meets Bagel (an onlinea challenge to see beyond myself and account for Charns dating app). What attracted me to Charn beyond her beautywants and desires. However, I have used my character traits was her walk with the Lord, and her desire to grow as a per- that were magnified after my TBI to benefit and enrich our son. She was similar to me in her desire and intentionalityrelationships. All in all, the elements of grace, patience, in growing her character.and understanding are vital to a relationship after a TBI.TIPS FOR DATING A SURVIVOR OFCONNECTION TO THE BRAIN INJURY TBI AND DATING WITH A TBI: ALLIANCE OF ARIZONA (BIAAZ):CharnBe honest with whomever youre pursuing, butOliverPrior to my TBI, I wasnt connected or had any not at the expense of not investing in them. Share your story,affiliation with BIAAZ. However, after my TBI, I became but hear theirs as well. very involved with the resources BIAAZ offers survivors. My OliverBe honest about your brain injury, but dont berelationship with BIAAZ has evolved from a taker to a giver, ashamed or embarrassed by it. I wear my TBI as a badge ofmeaning, in the beginning of my recovery, I asked, what honor! This is what Ive gone through and overcome, andcan BIAAZ offer/provide me? However, I now ask, what I still have a ton to offer. Let your brain injury be an assetcan I offer my fellow survivors and/or provide to BIAAZ and speak to your will and dedication to overcome lifesthat will benefit survivors and their lives? Charn has hardest challenges. become involved through supporting me and my recovery. She now seeks to volunteer and have a positive impact any WEDDING MOMENTS AND MEMORIES: opportunity she gets.OliverWe were married by our churchs pastors on AprilGOALS AND DREAMS:17th, 2019. With Charns family being in South AfricaCharnI desire to continue having and making a positive and unable to come, we were married on the roof of Abilityimpact in the brain injury community and will assist Oliver 360 with my parents, Juli and Gregory. We called Charnsin whatever direction his MBA takes him in the disability parents too so they could listen in. What stood out to mecommunity.further then the fact of getting to marry my heart friend/dream girl was the excitement of what this new chapter inOliverIm currently a full-time student at GCU pursuing life will hold. What stood out to Charn, was the assurancemy MBA. I desire to use my degree to have a positive impact we felt about each other. Although we didnt know whatwithin the disability community, specifically the brain the future held, we knew our futures would always haveinjury community.each other in it! As a couple, we strive to continually place God in the center OVERCOMING OBSTACLES AS A TEAM: of our relationship and build/grow each other in being the CharnThrough dating and being married to Oliver, Ibest us we can be.have come to see that his brain injury causes him to notHOBBIES AND ACTIVITIES:always see issues as issues. Through our marriage, I haveCharnMy two passions in life are horseback riding and had to come to an understanding of what brain injury is,dancing. Growing up doing both, I have a love for both of them.and what it isnt. With regards to the challenges and issues caused by his brain injury, weve had to be a team in ad- OliverBeing a full-time student, it goes without saying dressing and overcoming these obstacles. that I love learning and growing as an individual. I also enjoy working out and physical activities.Oliver andFINAL WORDS OF WISDOM:Charn dance at their post- CharnRegardless if youre a survivor or not, you have to weddinghave an understanding of your personal desires and wants celebratorybefore you can expect someone to meet them.partyOliverOwn your brain injury/disability, never letting any-one look down on you. Your brain injury/disability has little to no impact on who you are as a person. Ones character only comes from within; we choose what kind of person we will be and be known for.14The Noggin | 2020vol 5issue 1'